Berlin has cast a spell on me these days. Ruby-like strawberries barely last two days on the kitchen counter. White asparagus burst with juice under the blackened thumb of a farmer at the market. The days are full of soft breezes and sunshine, big puffy clouds dancing like cotton wool across the sky. Yesterday, while the heavens broke open and rain showered down, the sky remained a stubborn blue and the sun shone brightly in the sky: Magic, indeed.
We took a walk around a lake near our house the other day. The banks of the lake were heavy with lilacs and weeping willows and people splayed out on the grass. Berlin can be so hard and gray in winter, but when spring blooms, the city comes alive, leaving you breathless on every corner. There is nothing like it. If I could, I'd bottle Berlin Spring for all of you, to dab behind your earlobes and transport you to our cobblestoned streets.
I've been so overwhelmed with the details of what lies ahead in the coming weeks that I found myself, on Friday, practically unable to breathe. That evening, I went for a walk in Neukölln with my dad and focused on the little things: a black-legginged girl standing in the window of her ground-floor apartment, sanding the frame; rhubarb growing out of a two-by-four square of bare earth on a sidewalk; a little kid zipping past us on a scooter, scrawny leg pumping.
Then I thought about what it will feel like to see all the people I love gathered in the garden of my mother's house when I bind my life to this other person who I met and fell in love with almost 12 years ago. And I got all quiet inside.
This is Berlin: all graffitied and shadowy and a little scruffy around the edges.
This is Berlin, too: fuzzy and charming with trees and grass and glassy lakes and orderly red-roofed houses spotted as you fly in over the city.
And this is my Berlin: hand-painted Easter eggs hanging in a beloved living room with sunlight falling through the window just so.
Tomorrow I fly to New York one last time before I get married and before I finish the book. I will see my editor and buy place cards for the wedding and celebrate with my friends and bounce down Seventh Avenue in a yellow cab. I will get a haircut from my tattooed hair dresser (yes, still) and eat Malaysian food for lunch and walk my beloved streets and soak up all that wonderful New York pixie dust that I desperately miss sometimes when I'm in my little treehouse, at my desk.
But then I'll get impatient to come home again, to my lovely, leafy city with its goofy art vending machines and its elderflowers, heavy with pollen, waiting to be turned into syrup. There will be sleepy afternoons in my friend's backyard and berry-picking excursions in the overgrown fields just past where the Wall once stood. There will be lunches on our balcony in the summer heat and wasps will buzz at the kitchen window. There will be bike rides at dusk, soft, fragrant air rushing past my ears, and there will be languid picnics on sloping hills.
And like a ripple of raspberry purée running through a scoop of melty ice cream, there will be this low, happy hum in the undercurrent of every day, telling me that I made the right choice, that this is my home and where I belong.
What a beautiful post; the love that you have for Berlin comes through in every word and image.
Posted by: Kathryn | May 16, 2011 at 04:47 AM
hi luisa,
though i have yet to set foot in berlin (even if i've been to germany quite a few times), this post almost makes me wish it was my home, too. perhaps it's the way you writes about it, in addition of course to the charms the place has. europe in early summer is magical, isn't it?
have a great time in nyc!
chika
Posted by: Shewhoeats.blogspot.com | May 16, 2011 at 04:52 AM
i love this luisa. i love berlin as you know and it was wonderful to read your loveletter, because it's amazing to read someoneelse's words about B. have fun in ny!
Posted by: sandra | May 16, 2011 at 05:03 AM
You describe everything beautifully! Thank you for doing so.
Have a great time in New York and a wonderful summer ahead!
Posted by: Annika | May 16, 2011 at 05:07 AM
Oh, Luisa--this makes me so very, very happy. Deeply so.
Not to mention, you're making me want to visit Berlin something fierce (can you believe I lived a year in Vienna and never made it to Berlin?).
But mostly I would just love to see you so happy. Delighted for you, my dear. xox
Posted by: tea_austen | May 16, 2011 at 05:09 AM
Oh how your words make me miss Berlin so much. I miss Lietzensee, so beautiful in the sunshine, we spent many happy hour there last summer and we all look forward to it this year again ... thank you for this beautiful post
Posted by: Elizabeth Wheeler | May 16, 2011 at 05:31 AM
I'm probably just an emotional idiot, but this post brought tears to my eyes. Beautifully written, I could feel every word, illustrated by these lovely pictures. I wish you lots of love and fun in your beautiful Berlin.
Posted by: Karin | May 16, 2011 at 05:41 AM
Dear Luisa - I just broke up with my boyfriend after 6 1/2 years and I feel a kinship, after reading your site for many years. like you, incredibly light and easy and overwhelmed at the same time. (am I reaching here? pardon if I am). and I am moving! but I am incredibly certain, every day, that no matter what, I made the right choice. and I know you did too. you will be a beautiful bride. Enjoy New york!
Posted by: lynh | May 16, 2011 at 05:56 AM
Dear Luisa, I am deeply touched. And so happy for you! Berlin is indeed wonderful, and then with all that you have...celebrations to a happy (and sometimes challenging and difficult and everything else which belongs to humanity) life!
Posted by: Agnes | May 16, 2011 at 06:41 AM
Sigh.
Beautiful.
Posted by: Suzy | May 16, 2011 at 07:04 AM
wonderful words about this wonderful city. you seem so happy. thank you for sharing.
Posted by: jana | May 16, 2011 at 07:27 AM
Wow, what a beautiful and lyrical description! We just returned from a blissful week in Berlin staying on Worther Strasse, one of the "leafiest" streets in Prenzlauer Berg. My husband and I were not prepared to feel so immediately at home as we did. On Saturday we just hung out in P' Berg, had relaxing breakfast at Anna Blume, stopped in at St. Georges book shop, played Scrabble for two hours in the rain at the corner cafe, and ended up at Siediti, a cozy, wonderful Italian restaurant--the perfect ending to a perfect week!
Posted by: Debra Weiner | May 16, 2011 at 07:49 AM
You have me dreaming so early in the morning.
Posted by: bellini | May 16, 2011 at 08:14 AM
This is a gorgeous post. Such a joy to read.
Posted by: Suz | May 16, 2011 at 08:27 AM
Luisa - such a beautiful love letter to your former and new hometown. Makes me even more anxious to get there in a few days - so disappointed you won't be there this time. But hopefully soon there after. Have a wonderful time in NYC!
Posted by: jif | May 16, 2011 at 08:59 AM
This post makes me want to clap my hands and have a little cry at the same time -- and it makes me so glad we share a city.
Posted by: Sylee | May 16, 2011 at 09:06 AM
Hope to see you on the street in nyc Luisa!
Lots of luck on your upcoming nuptials and congratulations! Enjoy!
Posted by: stacey snacks | May 16, 2011 at 09:17 AM
Beautiful post. I struggle a lot between my feelings for New York and Germany. I long to feel the way you do in one or the other.
Posted by: Lora | May 16, 2011 at 09:54 AM
Oh you are so sweet! I was in Berlin a couple of years ago for a nice long stay with my best friend. While we were there she fell in love with a local and she moved there to get married. I have always wanted to go back to Berlin and this just put fuel in the fire. I love the crazy graffiti and the funkiness that is captured in Berlin, it is a very special place. Cheers!
Posted by: Michelle | May 16, 2011 at 10:12 AM
Wow, you really touched my soul with your images and words. I am far away from Berlin now, just wanting to go back now even more.
Posted by: Flavio | May 16, 2011 at 10:13 AM
Stand strong Luisa, you are almost at the finish line. When you get there, you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. Much luck and happiness to you on your two upcoming events.
Posted by: Oana | May 16, 2011 at 10:27 AM
You posted this on May 16th, and it is May 16th in New York, so starting tomorrow I can look out at the sky and know it's the same sky you can see!
Have a wonderful time here. Eat a Shackburger, walk around Central Park, check out the Highline, hang with friends, and most of all be you and be happy.
I have so many things to thank you for: Pasta Setaro at Buonitalia, your pasta sauce with a little ricotta stirred in at the end, those roasted tomatoes stuffed with rice, pappa al pomodoro; the list goes on.
If you decide to cook for friends, check out the ricotta from Salvatore Brooklyn. It is insanely good. Saxelby Cheese in the Essex Street Market sells it, but I always call first to make sure they have it. I wonder if you will go to Eataly. It is interesting, but I personally find it so unituitive because it's hard to shop there. It's like Harry Potter in Belatrix's vault at Gringotts. You want everything, but you can't touch a thing. Maybe there's a time it isn't packed, but if that is true, I haven't figured it out yet.
All the luck and love in the world to you. I am waiting for your book so I know the whole story.
Posted by: Victoria | May 16, 2011 at 10:45 AM
What lovely sentiments Luisa. Enjoy your last trip as a single gal. Your life is changing for the good in so many ways, but you already know that deep down.
Posted by: Jennie | May 16, 2011 at 10:49 AM
Thank you for these lovely photos and moving words. You remind me of the five years I lived in Ochsenburg, a tiny village near the.Neckar River in Wurttemberg during Ww2 where I was a refugee from Hungary. I was 4years old and had many happy days playing with my German friends, spending wonderful hours in the home of my best friend Briggite; her grandparents had the local tavern, where many of the villagers would spend the evening and where Brigitte and I observed all the goings-on, staying up way too late. I came to Vermont in the USA in 1949, so I know the tug you feel between places where you have lived and have friends. It makes the tapestry of life richer--enjoy all your experiences! All the best to you!
Posted by: Margit van Schaick | May 16, 2011 at 10:50 AM
Luisa - I loved this love letter to Berlin. Especially the part about the New York pixie dust and missing it, but then loving your current city. I miss living in New York very much, but I remind myself it is not the only city to live in, that there are others that can be just as wonderful, and odes like yours are perfect for that :)
Best wishes on your upcoming nuptials :)
Posted by: CityLifeEats | May 16, 2011 at 11:10 AM
Oh. Oh my, my, my. Sigh.
What a beautifully written post, Luisa.
I mean, that last sentence? Yeesh. You are a star!
Love.
Posted by: Shauna | May 16, 2011 at 11:18 AM
yes! so sweet. Hope this time fills you up. Enjoy your trip, sounds like a blast. I really hope we get to see pictures of the wedding, luisa!
Posted by: sara | May 16, 2011 at 12:10 PM
Truly a beautiful post... I will be leaving Berlin in a few months, and already I miss it, but my life is taking me another place this time. But I love your phrase "my leafy Berlin" - you put my feelings into beautiful words. Where is that lake with the brick building in the background?
Posted by: Bori | May 16, 2011 at 12:26 PM
What a lovely way of sharing your home. Wonderful words.
Posted by: alexandria | May 16, 2011 at 12:39 PM
My goodness, you write so beautifully. I love the springtime! I live for it. Unfortunately, we’re having a bit of a rainy spell in New York that the forecasters are saying will last all week. So bring along a light raincoat and rain boots. But it’s warm and green also. All the best to you in your upcoming nuptials.
Posted by: Abby A. | May 16, 2011 at 01:19 PM
i love this post! i live in NYC and my hairdresser too, has TONS of tattoos. I get the most boring haircut at her little east village salon, and always think how if i had the guts id have her toss in a streak of green and maybe a super funky angle :)
i just found fresh strawberries at the abingdon square farmers market this past weekend! i literally had strolled about 10 feet past the stand when the smell of them stopped me dead in my tracks. i shelled out $8 for a pint of them, but eating them over the sink was well worth their hefty price tag. thanks again for wonderful posts....and congrats on the wedding! i too am getting married, in early fall...enjoy the last bit of your engagement while it lasts!
Posted by: cory | May 16, 2011 at 01:41 PM
Beautiful! Enjoy New York, and Berlin, and your soon to be new husband :)
Posted by: Christine | May 16, 2011 at 01:44 PM
You made it to that good place! This is just what I needed to read right now, with all my nerves jangling about moving home, makes me feel I'm gonna get there too.
Posted by: Sasa | May 16, 2011 at 02:04 PM
Ok, I'll bite. Who's the hairdresser? I have straight hair like yours and am always looking for someone good who can make my hair look interesting.
Posted by: R @ Learning As I Chop | May 16, 2011 at 02:17 PM
what a post! So romantic, your love your new york, berlin and your husband to be. Love is maybe even better than food.
Posted by: the twice bitten | May 16, 2011 at 03:10 PM
Thanks for the reminder to stop, look around, and notice all the little things around us. I sometimes forget to do that.
Posted by: David | May 16, 2011 at 03:24 PM
Hello, you lovely people and thank you for all your kind words!
Sandra - that's how I feel when I read your posts about Berlin, so lovely to hear another person's passion for this great city.
Karin - I can cry at yogurt commercials! If you're an emotional idiot, I'm right there with you :)
lynh - peace and love and strength to you, xo.
jif - see you next time. Have a great time with the family!
Stacey - say hi if you see me? :)
Lora - I know the struggle. Hang in there. Sometimes peace comes when you least expect it.
Victoria - I'm going to try to brave Eataly this time. Wish me luck. I'll be thinking of you.
Margit - I want to hear more about your life!!
Shauna - thank you, doll.
Sara - stay tuned... :)
Bori - it's Lietzensee. If you haven't been yet, I highly recommend you visit before leaving. Take a stroll around the lake, then stop in for a beer or slice of cake at the café on the water... safe travels to your next home.
Abby - thank you for the tip! I'm so bummed about the rain, but at least it won't be cold.
Cory - that's the thing about the first strawberries, right? So hard to pass on by. Thank you.
Sasa - oh, honey, I know where you are right now. This part is really tough! I promise you, it will be great. It's like ripping off the Band-Aid now.
R - Andy Starkweather at Deluxe Salon! Love him. As in, still refuse to find a Berlin stylist. Ha!
Posted by: Luisa | May 16, 2011 at 03:28 PM
What a wonderful post! It really captures the essence of Berlin, the city I think of and miss everyday. I loved living there for one year and dream of returning. Through your blog, and especially through posts' like this one, I can close my eyes and "be there". Thank you for transporting me to the city of my dreams and taking me far, far away from this rain and cold that we have been having here.
I'll buy the first bottle of "Berlin Spring" once you have figured out how to bottle it!!!
In the meantime, have a great time in NYC (do share the address for the Malaysian food)!
Posted by: LaPerle | May 16, 2011 at 04:02 PM
What beautiful prose! Really, it reads more like a poem. And the pictures make it even better.
Posted by: Lauren | May 16, 2011 at 04:02 PM
Ok, I have to tell you... your picture of those strawberries did me in. They are so red and shiny and beautiful and it transported me to the first time I had a wild strawberry... in Germany! We were visiting my Grandma's home town in Southern Germany, and she was taking us on a walk up the hill where she used to play as a little girl. Along the way, she pointed out a patch of wild strawberries, picked a few, and dropped them in our palms. I'd never had a strawberry so delicious, and haven't since. It's one of my favorite memories. Thanks for the beautiful photo, and the sweet post. It's even making me sentimental, and I've never even been to Berlin! :)
Posted by: Christina | May 16, 2011 at 04:03 PM
Home can be hard to find. It's truly in our hearts and minds. I'm glad you've found yours--in Berlin and in your loved ones.
Posted by: Jen | May 16, 2011 at 04:25 PM
Just loved it.
Posted by: Sonia | May 16, 2011 at 05:24 PM
congrats! what a lovely post :)
Posted by: tammy | May 16, 2011 at 06:25 PM
this is dreamy. I would die to visit Berlin!! hope your trip to NYC is great!!
Posted by: amelia | May 16, 2011 at 07:49 PM
Beautiful, Luisa!!
Posted by: Nicola | May 16, 2011 at 09:28 PM
I am starting to learn German right now. This is the perfect inspiration to do well!
Posted by: Joy | May 16, 2011 at 10:31 PM
Its such a wonderful post.. makes me so homesick that i want to get onto a flight rite now and fly back to my lovely home and family.
And many many congratualtions to you and your soon to be husband.
Posted by: Surekha | May 16, 2011 at 10:52 PM
Wow your writing is really different in this post. Funny, I was just talking to my husband (of 30 years plus) remembering my last days of Munich.
Posted by: julie | May 16, 2011 at 11:02 PM
life, you never know whats going to happen next. enjoy every.single.moment. although it sounds like you've already learned that lesson. :)
Posted by: AT | May 16, 2011 at 11:11 PM
Such a lyrical, beautiful, and touching essay.
Every possible good wish for your wedding, and all the joyous years awaiting you.
Posted by: CCP | May 16, 2011 at 11:43 PM