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Unfortunately I know what it's like. All the what ifs etc., and yet, when the fog clears you wonder why you ever fell into the fog to begin with. I'd with I could combine four different cities all around the world and place them in the town where I live now.

Sometimes you don't even need to have your heart spread across a handful of cities to have cravings of home-as-it-once-was.

And sometimes you just need cake. (This one, by the way, sounds absolutely delicious).

Ooooooh do I know what that is like. I combat that with little weekend getaways, like this past weekend in Barcelona where I caught up with my best friend from NYC who was in town. And we laaauuuuughed and we aaaattte and I feel so much better for it. Take laughter and food, mix together, preferably in a gorgeous location far from home, stir. Drink in. Also, these cupcakes look like they might help, going to try these. Big hugs! xx

May I also remind you that Spargelzeit is around the corner - thoughts of hollandaise-drenched white asparagus often cheer me up!

They look incredibly delicious! And yes, I know just what you mean! I had a friend from England over for the weekend, and I longed to go there so bad...! xo

I know the feeling well. I was so homesick for Edinburgh when we lived in London but last week, now we live in Edinburgh again, I missed London so badly. Thankfully my mean reds have never been too hard on me and it always passes but I think it is inevitable when you have lived in and loved more than one place.

I'll trade you NYC (I'm right here in Chelsea) for Europe. Deal?

I love that these are made with oil rather than butter, even though the mascarpone more than makes up for it. In a good way that is.

I know of these days you talk about. I know of those feelings. They are difficult but, like cupcakes served at a German shower party, they tend to disappear after a short while.

Happy Monday.
Magda

I wish I had a baby shower to go to. These sound divine...
A man smiled and waved at me today as I was walking past the senior centre where he worked. It was just what I needed - I was having a grumpy day. It's good to know little things like cupcakes and smiles can cheer you up!

Oh, don't I know it! But some pixie dust has settled on me too...

& S has been asking to make a cake since this weekend, and this might just be the one to try.

The NY homesickness...the general homesickness of someone from all over who has lived all over. Yes, I know. It'll pass. Too bad you didn't have one of these cupcakes around to make you feel better. People aren't wild about cupcakes here either. I think when you bring them to parties, people just don't really know how to pick them up and it them. Once somebody starts, everyone follows. I notice that sometimes happens with certain types of finger food.

Hugs to you. I know what you're going through, same thing's happening to me here in Singapore

Glad you are feeling better. The cupcakes look amazing

Oh my goodness, that pillowy cloud of frosting is calling my name!

The mascarpone siting in my fridge has been calling out to me!!!

oh yum-mum! what a great idea this frosting is! will also try it with some spicy chocolate batter..& ginger. i shred carrots in a food processor (the reason i bought one). when one of Those Moods hit me, i sit down to watch 'steel magnolias', bawl until i have a headache, & then laugh at the lines (you're 'too twisted for color t.v.' is my fave).

It's so true; when you are home you long for adventure and then we have the adventure we craved, we once again long for home;-) Human, I guess...and cake always helps!! Thanks, I can't wait to try these - they sound yummy.

You're so right about having to remind yourself "this is the life I chose" - sometimes it's all there is to hang onto until the ground reappears again. I'm sure you know it probably won't ever completely go away but it helps if you have a person to hold your hand (and recommend your baked goods to the doubters 'til they see the light) and you seem like you've got a good one ^_^ Even more complicated when part of why you've got the blues is because you're partly there for them though. Hope the sun shines down on Berlin this week, that usually helps too.

I am so sorry to hear of your funk. My friend had a similar thing happen to her when she was living in Thailand, and she also cured her homesick blues by baking. She baked so much that she ended up writing a cookbook about baking American goodies in Thailand. Great book. My favorite thing about the book is that it is written in English with Thai on the opposite pages. She also does a carrot cake recipe, but not with marscarpone frosting, which, by the way, would not make it onto a single cupcake if I made that.

My week was rough last week, too, not from homesickness but from family worries. Your description of trying to talk yourself out of it while yourself was sobbing fits me exactly. But this week is better - the sun is out, my hurt feelings are healing, I'm counting my blessings. One of them is your blog and your wonderful writing. Thank you for reminding me I'm not alone.

Thanks. Something about this post made my Monday a.m. and erased the disaster of this morning's F-train-commute debacle. (You're missing New York? Let me help a little: the train took 30 minutes to arrive. And then it was PACKED. Like, that's my nose in your armpit, oh strange furry man, and yes, sorry, I really do want to read my New Yorker even though it means I'm sloshing coffee on your shoes and mine because I can't hold the pole.) In part I think it's the post's honesty (we all have those days or weeks but it takes away their power a bit when someone calls it out into the morning light), and in part it's that you have solved a frosting riddle for me. I've been looking for a frosting that's Not! Cream! Cheese! for cupcakes like this for agens and plan to adapt it for many other cakes, too. So thank you!

Completely know what that is like and hope it lets go of you soon! And The Craft of Baking is one of my best-ever cookbook buys -- every recipe is brilliant and something people love to eat :)

Carrot cupcakes! I love carrots in anything. David Lebovitz has a French-style carrot cake, which was great. So I look forward to making these cupcakes.

Hope you are feeling better. It's so natural to miss a place and a time in your life that you loved. Don't be hard on yourself about it.

Hang in there, girl. I've been low myself lately, maybe it's a cosmic-ish thing?

The Craft of Baking is one of my favorite books of all time. I've not tried this frosting, though--it looks heavenly!

The frosting looks like clouds atop carrot tops! Baby steps in life. Enjoy every mood as they create a balanced life. We need extreme emotion, we are human.

I too know what it is like. And I sympathize! Heart pain is hard. I'll be thinking of you...

i feel like I have to constantly, almost daily, remind myself that this is the life I chose and that I would choose it over and over again if I could! and honestly... let's face it: those cupcakes look insane. here's to an amazing week!!

p.s. michelle's comment above reminded me of this great, similarly-themed podcast I just heard. If you're into the poetry of Rilke at all, you will totally love it:
http://being.publicradio.org/programs/2011/wild-love-for-world/

The mean reds...Holly Golightly makes them sound kind of sweet, but having experienced them, I think I have a sense for how you feel. No fun, but they do pass!

I love the sound (and look) of this frosting--light, fluffy, and on the tart side, I imagine. I wonder if it would work in a carrot cake or...or if it's too goopy and would it slide down the sides and out from the layers?

I'm such a carrot cake girl... I served it at my wedding! Thanks for the post. And I had "that" week 2 weeks ago. Things are back to normal.

You are doing great! Look at how much all these followers and "commenters" are getting out your blog. We all love it! Thank you for all your warmth and great ideas. I live in Edinburgh but was in Berlin recently for my jollies. We went to Little Otik for dinner and Anna Blume for brunch. Get yourself over there for a good cake or their tiered brunch platter. Its been making me smile for the last fortnight!
All the very best, kindest wishes
x

Belonging in several different places at once is rough. The heart finds temporary respite only to be caught off guard again when it least expects it. Here is a book I think you'd enjoy if you haven't read it already:

http://www.npr.org/2011/03/13/134455829/day-of-honey-the-unifying-sweetness-of-food

Re: cupcakes, I find them pretty tiresome myself but was sold on mascarpone frostings a couple of months ago when I made one for a cake. Light, non-greasy and just fabulous :)

I'm loving the idea of mascarpone frosting.

The Red Tree. by Shaun Tan.

I know I am being terribly selfish but i got rather excited to see you were homesick. I started convincing myself that perhaps the two of you could just move back here. And then i realized how silly i was and that gave me the moody blues. Grrrrrrrr. Love you. Miss you

You know, it's so funny. I've been reading your blog for several (3? 4?) years now, and I've only commented a couple of times. And then last week when I was reading your post about salsify in ham, I was about to comment, to alert you to a cake that I think you need to make right away, but I didn't. I thought "this is the kind of woman who doesn't need a recipe suggestion from me, I'm an amateur."

And now, as it turns out, I totally should have commented. You just never know when someone is feeling a little down, and whereas if you were one of my friends in real life, I would respond to that by bringing a cake to you, I guess maybe the "blog friend" equivalent is to tell you about a cake you'd love and tell you that you need to make it right away? Doesn't have the same impact, but anyway. I know from reading for so long that you're a big fan of homey, "everyday" kinds of cakes (like your recent pound cake that I need to make soon), and I made an everyday cake last week that knocked my socks off. And I think you'd love it!

Well, let me rephrase that. Do you like banana bread? Or desserts involving bananas at all? If so, then you would definitely like this cake.

My mom had surgery a week and a half ago, a full shoulder replacement. She usually cooks Sunday dinner for myself and my family, and my sister and her family. But since she was recovering, I took over the Sunday dinner duties and packed a whole bunch of stuff over to her house to cook for her while she relaxed in her own house. Nothing fancy, just pure comfort food: homemade chicken noodle soup (complete with homemade chicken stock and from-scratch noodles, of course); a loaf of fresh homemade bread, warm from the oven and with salted butter nearby for spreading; a tossed salad; and for dessert, my new favorite everyday cake. Double banana pound cake, which you can find on the Cooking Light website if you search that term. I'm a pretty serious baker, and I actually love Cooking Light's dessert recipes. For those of us who want to eat dessert more than once a month, their recipes aren't so decadent and crazy with the butter that you need to avoid them for all but the most special occasions; but even so they are reliably delicious. And this one was one of the greats. Ultimately simple and comforting, with that familiar banana flavor, but with more complex flavor than your typical banana bread, and the most sumptuous, velvety texture you could hope for out of a pound cake. Just. Look up the recipe, and make it soon. You'll be glad you did!

I made Carrot Cake cupcakes this weekend as well.

I used the recipe from Smitten Kitchen for the cupcakes then made regular cream cheese frosting.

Cream Cheese frosting can make anything worth eating, I am not sure if Mascarpone frosting would be the same but I will give it a try.

Happy Cooking,

elena

Lovely cupcake recipe, thanks for posting. Hope your week starts to look up. *hugs*

I'm sold!! I already have a trusted recipe for carrot cupcakes with maple syrup cream cheese frosting but the way you've just decribed these.. Must try!

Gorgeous pictures by the way!

Recipe is great, mascarpone frosting... Can only say one thing: Yummmmm! Got an interesting site for you maybe: http://www.cupcakerecipes.com/, that are about all the cupcake recipes you can find ;)! Cheers to that...

Ok, let's add this and the pound cake you wrote about to a list of recipes that I must make as soon as Lent is over and I can eat sweets again. Hope you're feeling better. New York misses you, too!

It's itchy foot syndrome! But you describe it so much more eloquently. My friend's mother named it after us, the generation stuck constantly missing Japan or the US.
I've been on a carrot cake kick recently. These look so much more delicate. Must try.

long time reader, first time commenter. having moved from a 10 year stint in nyc (w village and ft greene) to frankurt (ugh) at the beginning of 2009, i sympathize. but like the commenter who mentioned the F train debacle, remember the many things that do in fact suck back in the city. i was in rewe the other day and noticed that the barolo i loved in nyc cost 14,99 EUR here vs the $40 in trader joe's...that and my sack of kuerbiskorn broetchen, assortment of (unpasteurized!) cheeses, and weekly bundle of fresh flowers (all for a totally not-possible-in-nyc 15 EUR) from the wochenmarkt reminded me of some of the reasons that i chose this side of the pond. with our longer-growing days, this too shall pass, before you know it!

Like so many other commenters, I do know how you feel. Although for me it's not really a "homesickness" but rather just feeling that life is too overwhelming. What i've found helpful, although there are days when unfortunately nothing helps, is being easier on myself. i try to ask myself what could make things easier, instead of beating myself up for not functioning. sometimes the answer is as easy as getting out of the house with a girlfriend for coffee. i try to be kinder on myself and allow myself simple joys, after which it's easier to get back on track with the more "productive" things i have to do. hope you feel so much better, soon.

sorry to hear about the blues. I hope they've lifted by now. These look delicious. But I am dying for the recipe for the chocolate, cream-filled cupcakes. PLEASE!

Mascarpone frosting??? That sounds amazing!! I am definitely going to be trying this combination soon.

Oh, like so many other readers, I totally identify too. There have been so many days when "this too shall pass" is about all that keeps me from just staying in bed. That and cooking, which at least brings me out of my head and into my body. Baking cupcakes is perfect! Good luck to you. The fog will lift, then it will come again, then lift, then roll in again. We just have to live into it.

Sorry about your blues--going through a serious bout of those myself these days for other reasons. I always think the change-of-season time of year brings on more of those mood swings than other times. Anyway, your cupcakes are the perfect antidote and I love, love, love the mascarpone whipped cream frosting! This recipe just got added to my file. Keep your chin up--better days ahead, I hope.

Cupcakes always make me happy :) And these look incredible, especially with the mascarpone frosting. I hope you're feeling better :)

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