Dinner Frustrations

It was all meant to end a little differently. Without that floppy, pallid slice of pizza, if you're wondering. After all, I had plans. Plans to cook, of course. Things like Chinese peanut noodles or a spring vegetable soup. I'd be looking forward to making them for days. But there was that pesky rain at lunch that prevented me from going grocery shopping, and then the after-work event that wasn't pesky in the least, on the contrary, it was totally great, but it meant my visit to Whole Foods wouldn't happen until after 9 pm. And then it'd have to be with aching feet, hands jittery with hunger and a small dose of impatience that only got worse after I realized that the four simple things on my list were simply not to be found.

No way, no how.

Feeling intrepid (bedraggled, but intrepid), I made a valiant attempt at another grocery store. Wouldn't it just serve the Whole Foods colossus right, I fumed as I clickety-clacked my way across 7th Avenue, if the little, local chain had all the things I needed for dinner? And a speedy dinner it would be, because the jitters were only getting worse and I was starting to talk to myself, which is never a good sign.

But the joke was on me. Even though I stood stubbornly in the aisle at Garden of Eden and willed the bottle of hot sauce I was searching for and the fresh egg noodles that were nowhere to be found to simply appear, it seemed they had other plans.

What could I do?

Not much, besides collect my indignant, trembly self (it goes downhill by the second when it's that far gone, my hypoglycemia. I'm just happy Ben wasn't around when it was happening - it's always worse when there are loved ones present to snap at in your hunger-addled state of mind), walk down the misty avenue, and ponder my options.

I could fix myself a bowl of cereal, but cereal for dinner is really only appealing when I'm in the midst of heartbreak and food is but a distraction. (That's when my jeans fit infuriatingly well. Later, when I'm happy again and my jeans are always just a little too tight, I find myself wondering about the strange ways of a universe that have me wishing, just for a split nanosecond, for a teeny tiny dose of that heartbreak again so that I can have nothing but cereal for dinner and always, always look good in jeans. And then I realize what a fool I am for not finishing the plate of pasta in front of me. With bread. To mop up the sauce. And a piece of cheese after that. And isn't there something sweet in the house that needs to be finished? Yes, I thought so. Hand it over.)

Instead, I bought myself a slice of pizza and brought it home, where, along with two cleaned radishes and a glass of milk, it would have to do as dinner. And it was okay, actually. That slice of pizza wasn't bad, especially with the late-night mist falling and the sounds of the city outside my window. There are worse things, I told myself, as I chewed my slice quietly at the table and felt my jitters subside.

After all, there's always tomorrow. When I'd better find those damn egg noodles, Or Else.

Comments

[shauna]

I love this post, my dear. Just love it. Some days have pizza and jeans not fitting that well and shaking hands. We all have them. I just love that you shared.

[Zarah Maria]

Love it - just love it. And know the feeling. All of them :-)

[s'kat]

Somedays end with pizza, others with a long-cooked, succulent roast.

It's all in the balance, baby!

[RA]

Luisa, it's so nice to know that even intrepid recipe-testers like yourself have pizza-ordering nights! I think it's an act of self-preservation not to make your hobby something you dread on tired nights.

And, why don't they make jeans that magically fit well when you go for the pasta and bread and cheese? I would totally buy a pair or three.

[deb]

I want to know where you got decent-looking pizza in our 'hood! Is it from that 33 place on 23rd? GofE frustrated me last night, too. They were out (out!) of basil. Wha? I had to buy (buy!) pesto. I cannot wait to see what you make with the egg noodles.

[Lia]

I'm impressed that you were planning to start cooking at 9pm! By that point, I would have skipped the grocery store and headed straight to the pizzeria.

[ann]

I hate when fate steps on our (I'm using the collective here) plans, but, like all great writers, you made a post only tangentially about cooking, fully about cooking and a joy to read. Brava!

Have a wonderful, long weekend. Eat lotsa peeps!

[Leah]

Ooooh lady, does my Spidey sense tell me that maybe maybe maybe you're going to try a certain noodle-y recipe found in a certain east coast newspaper this past week? Because I too was hoping to do just that on Tuesday but instead got strong-armed into a homemade Korean meal (I know, poorest me) by one of my adopted Korean aunties. Anyway, those are some of my favorite noodles ever, and I'm dying to know how they come out. So maybe Spidey sense = wishful thinking?

Meanwhile, all this (wonderfully written) talk about shopping at GofE (frustrating or no) and pizza and a misty city is killing me. Please don't stop!

[Luisa]

Shauna - thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it.

Zarah - so good to know I'm not alone ;)

S'kat - indeed! That is the best attitude to take.

RA - the slice felt more like an act of desperation last night, but I agree about taking a break from the kitchen every once in a while. It's common sense!

Deb - I got it on 7th, and I want to say, 20th? On the SW corner? I think. It was this dingy little hole in the wall. I wouldn't really recommend it - just order a pie from Patsy's instead, no? Except I guess they don't sell by the slice...

Lia - Well, the recipe was one of those under-15 minute things. Otherwise? There's just no way I would have started that late.

Ann - Thank you, thank you! Have a happy Easter.

Leah - You're a hell of a sleuth ;)

[susan]

the same thing happens to me - grand plans to cook then as the end of day nears, something comes up, i can't find an ingredient, or i just get tired. it's good at least you're eating. sometimes my bf "forgets" to eat. :)

[Anne]

Oh please, girl. You look great!

Besides, I was complaining to my friend Shashi, a nice gal from Delhi, about the weight I put on since I'd met Fred, and she said, "But why? That's happiness." And when I thought about it, I realized that I don't see very many happy skinny people.

This is one of my fave posts of yours, btw.

[Randi]

Your eyebrows are utterly perfect!!

[Jessika]

Is that 3 Le Creuset pots?? If it is I am jealous ;).
I was like you in search of ingredients a while back. Stood in the stupid baking supply aisle and just waited for the muscovado sugar to appear out of thin air. And how fond of actually cooking are you at 10 at night while suffering from hypoglycemia? Pizza was probably the best idea for the day.

[lobstersquad]

totally with you about the snapping people´s heads off when hungry. I´m terrible that way, and the worst is when I´m made to wander around looking for a restaurant in that state. I fear one day I´ll kill some poor waiter who tells me there are no free tables.

[Luisa]

Susan - how funny: my stepmother does that, too! I don't know how. I'd collapse.

Anne - you're back! Can't wait to hear about Barcelona. And thank you ;)

Randi - why, thanks!

Jessika - it is indeed. I wrote about them here: http://wednesdaychef.typepad.com/the_wednesday_chef/2006/11/in_my_kitchen.html

Ximena - yes, that is definitely the worst. How do you do it in Spain where you have to eat so late? I think I'd have to have a pre-dinner snack every day. Let's not even think about the size of my jeans then.

[Mercedes]

Oh, I felt so bad for you when I read this. I would have succumbed to the hunger trembles much earlier than you did! I keep trying to think of places in that area with fresh egg noodles...still thinking...

[Honeybee]

I can very much relate to how you were feeling! Hunger can be seriously mind-altering for me, while on holiday in Argentina I actually almost cried once saying I wanted to go home. After having eaten an empanada or two I realised I wanted to stay after all.

[Jessika]

I have one Le Creuset. If you weren't such a great writer I'd inform you that I despise anyone owning more than two ;).

[Caroline]

This is my favorite post yet! Perhaps because I feel a kinship to find a fellow hypoglycemic. From slight spaciness to agitation to anger to panic... Have we come to love and care about food so much because we so seriously rely on it? When we visit family in Greece and eat at 10pm or later each night, I always sneak in my room to quietly devour a 7pm snack so I don't become a basket case!

[hungry girl]

Great post. Fun. Nothing I like better than than accounts of failed culinary adventures, and oh yes, shopping while in the midst of a hypoglycemic attacK!

You should check out my book, Comfort Food for Breakups: The Memoir of a Hungry Girl.

[Lisa]

Pizza is the cure for all!

[Luisa]

Mercedes - I don't know how I lasted that long, truly. Three cheese crackers at the book reading must have done the trick. As for Chelsea and fresh Chinese noodles, the only place I have yet to check is Chelsea Market's Thai restaurant and shop...

Honeybee - wow, that sounds like a very bad case, indeed! You have my utmost empathy - it's an annoying thing to suffer from!

Jessika - well, thank you - I'm glad you don't despise me because of my pots ;)

Caroline - thank you! I actually think it's just how some people are built. Hypoglycemics don't love food any more than those who can skip meals with impunity, I think.

Hungry Girl - Thank you, and for the book tip!

Lisa - I don't know, I think I'd rather have a plate of pasta, but for sheer portability? Pizza's genius.

[Lisa (Homesick Texan)]

Ha! As I'm reading this, I'm waiting for a pizza from Patsy's! And yet, I spent a good portion of my afternoon stocking up on groceries from said delinquents Whole Foods and Garden of Eden. Go figure!