Charles Perry's Rumtum Tiddy

You might ask yourself what could possess a smart girl like me to melt together condensed tomato soup, chopped Cheddar cheese, a splash of Worcestershire sauce, and black pepper in a pan before pouring it onto a slice of good miche and broiling (broiling!) it until it bubbles.

Commitment to this blog and all those crazy newspaper recipes is what.

Most days I'm grateful that my palate is privy to different tastes and flavors and experiences. On days like today, however, I seriously question my judgment. Because, as you might well have imagined, condensed tomato soup and chopped Cheddar cheese and Worcestershire sauce and black pepper melted together and broiled on top of miche doesn't taste very good at all.

It seemed like a good idea, romanticized by my notion that apple-cheeked, golden-locked children in Victorian England ate this in their nurseries, overseen by a stern but loving governess. Where else could a name like Rumtum Tiddy be applied to anything other than a card game?

But I warn you. It is not a good idea at all. What you will find on your plate is a lurid orange puddle that tastes of salt and preservatives, and even though I ate the entire slice because I was in an uncomfortable state of hunger, I would seriously advise against doing so.

You know what's such a better idea? Slicing off a piece of that nice miche, cutting a wedge from your block of good Cheddar and eating the two out of hand as you decompress on your couch. Leave the Rumtum Tiddy to long-dead Victorians. Take it from me, your martyr in the kitchen.

Rumtum Tiddy
Serves 2

8 ounces good-quality cheddar cheese, chopped
1 (10 3/4 -ounce) can condensed tomato soup
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
2 tablespoons minced onion
1/8 teaspoon pepper
4 thick slices whole-grain bread
1 tablespoon snipped chives

1. Put the cheese, tomato soup, Worcestershire sauce, onion and pepper in a skillet. Stir over medium heat until the cheese is thoroughly melted.

2. Remove the skillet from the heat for 1 to 2 minutes for the cheese mixture to firm up slightly. Ladle the mixture onto the slices of toast and broil until the tops start to bubble — but don't let them brown. Garnish with the chives. Serve hot.

Comments

[aliza]

Even better would have been taking that cheese sandwhich, cover every inch of exposed bread with with butter and grilling it in the frying pan until your wedge of good cheddar is melted, and your miche is a golden brown. YUM!

[Lydia]

Thank you for venturing forth into the culinary wasteland so the rest of us don't have to! That truly sounds awful.

[Aoife]

My dad calls it dinah d'ditty. I made a dressed-up version (http://yumbrosia.com/2006/04/30/give-us-this-day-yesterdays-bread), but it's still incredibly heavy.

[lindy]

Whoa, scary food and brave woman.

I do like a slice of tomato (in season) under the cheese in a grilled cheese sandwich, though. and so much easier, too.

[Abby]

Ew.

My husband, however, has a love for that soup. I'll never understand it! (His mother can't cook, maybe? Yes. That's it.)

I second Lindy, however.

[Melissa]

So funny! It actually sounds a lot like a dish my mother romanticizes from her childhood, called 'red devils': toast topped with cheddar cheese, melted under the broiler and then drowned under a can of tomato soup. She must have served it to me at some point, but I've apparently repressed the memory...

[Tanna]

So this is a trust me issue. At least it didn't take all day to lead up to the disappointment.

[Frank in Austin]

Thank you for 'taking one for the team'! It looks as good as you describe-great blog!
FM

[Nancy]

I tried this last night after seeing it on the site. The best part was my kids didn't even realize I wasn't serving them grilled cheese. Finally something we can all love.

[Julie]

Ick. You ARE a brave girl. I can also only imagine the ribbing I would have taken had I given G something to eat called "Rumtum Tiddy". There must be some version of Welsh Rarebit that actually works and tastes good -- but I don't yet know what it is or where to find it.

[deana sidney]

i just discovered food blogs in the last bleak weeks of the writer's strike. i just found yours yesterday. wonderful read(even if it keep me from working on a script!).

i am finishing up an article on fin de siecle food in nyc, your rum tum tiddy recipe is far off the historical mark, there would have been an insurrection in the nursery had the nanny foisted that mess on the little dears. try this:

RUM TUM TIDDY

1 Tb butter ½ tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 small onion, minced ¼ tsp. dry mustard
3 c. grated sharp cheese 2 c cooked tomatoes, 1 tsp sugar
1 egg slightly beaten 1 jigger sherry

Sauté onion in butter. Add tomatoes then cheese and Worcestershire sauce and mustard. Stir to melt, add egg and sherry at the last. Remove from heat. Serve on toast or with crackers. Serves 4